this comes from an email i sent recently to a friend to catch them up on some things in my life. this portion is in regards to a possible job at a super cool church in southern california.
so, i’m not coming. that’s basically what came out of my mouth to tommy a couple of weeks ago when we talked for the first time after my visit. i hung the phone up, swiveled in my chair to face my computer, and the words that came out of my mouth to no one but me and Jesus were “i’m not going.” that statement was followed by such calming peace.
until that moment i had no idea how God was pulling on my heart. i could hear His voice both here in fresno and there at RH. as i explained it to one of the few friends who got to be apart of my processing, i was excited and nervous about the possibility of both outcomes. there was never a thought or concern about community (both leaving or finding), church body (RH is amazing and if i lived within an hour of RH i’d be family there!), or living situation. the comparison that was in my head and got communicated whenever i processed out loud with someone was the difference in what i’d be doing. i don’t love my job at chase. i love what my job at chase lets me do. i would love getting paid to do ministry in the church (especially to help point kids to Jesus through their talents and passions in music). i would have to give up some of the things i get to do now because of my job at chase. i was so torn. no leading. people who i thought would be for me moving forward with this weren’t into the idea and those who i thought for sure would be opposed to the RH thing were so for it. lots of prayer. lots of prayer.
tommy called and told me (first time) that it had been changed to a honorarium and wasn’t going to be an hourly gig. honestly that probably would have made it easier for me to make a transfer with chase (keeping the benefits and retirement intact) and i told him as much when we talked. he said he was going to get more details from the elders and i said i was going to pray about it for another week. we hung up. and thats when my first paragraph happened.
God is good and faithful. i’m excited to be here in fresno because that is where God has me. being apart of His plan is the most exciting, adventurous, and thrilling thing anyone could ever do. i’m looking forward to this adventure He has for me!
